Wednesday, February 11, 2009

still alive

Yesterday, I wore spring green velveteen pants. I just really wanted to type that. Spring Green Velveteen. It's really the only reason I'm blogging.

(Hey, inspiration doesn't strike that often. I take it when it comes.)

Ironically, it matched my chilled avocado soup. I didn't take a picture of either, but the soup looked about like this:

Cilantro and all. Except we didn't have such pretty matching cups to drink it out of at Soup Night.

Anything else to say? Oh, I didn't get my dream job. Ah well. God has other plans, obviously. I'm excited to know what they are, but I feel more and more like they will involve school for library science. I just have this vision of me as a reference librarian at a small liberal arts college and I like it. Actually, I can't shake it.

With today's paycheck, I must make the difficult decision: sign up for the GRE, finally, or have my car checked. It's got an oil leak. Man, having a car is so expensive.

For those of you who have been biting your nails in anticipation (steve), I am working on the second installment of the AiR story. Promise I am.

This week Grace and I were talking about how I keep myself so ridiculously busy all the time. Really, for only getting paid for 17 hours a week, you'd think I'd be less stressed out. And devote a hair more attention to the job search. I don't know, I care about the band, and the jam, and the stuff with the college kids, and the Augustine Project, and the Spark, but I'm getting so restless. Just kind of wish I could shirk everything and be a completely irresponsible kid. For the long term. 'Cause right now, whenever I goof off its with this looming air of "there's something else you should be doing" all the time. And no matter what I've accomplished during the day, it never feels like enough. Maybe that's me creating stress for myself again. Or maybe I should be feeling that way. Maybe I have my priorities all wrong and it's time for me to grow up and streamline my life. I know it's not fair to my family not pull my fair share of the weight around here.

All I really want to do is go back to being 10 again. Sheesh.

I did clean the house though. Hasn't been this clean in months. And I cooked some delicious peanut butter cookies and biscuits and chicken pot pie from scratch. In addition to the soup.

I need sleep.

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